Make A Wish

I haven't written much about Jumby's life before his arrival home with us for many reasons. The primary reason being the adoption has yet to be finalized due to the extreme sluggishness in which the wheels of bureacracy churn in these parts. The adoption officials in charge of stamping our adoption final and assigning Jumby with the Redneck surname are not keen on me publicizing some of the details of his past. So I've wisely held my tongue.

I will continue to keep his story under wraps until I have his birth certificate with his new name in my hot little hands because I can't do anything to jeopardize his placement into our family fold. He's already one of us and I don't think I or my family could survive losing him.

Jumby didn't have an easy life before he found his way to his forever home. His story is rather incredible and tragic, composed of the stuff that makes for an epic drama, made all the more incredible by the fact he survived and has since thrived.

But Jumby, my sweet new little man, is a hero. He's my hero and a hero to everyone who knows the dark shadows that lie in his closet. He may not look like the hero Hollywood makes movies about or the hero legends are spun around and passed on for generations but he is a hero.

A blind, deaf, non-verbal, immobile real life representation of the true definition of heroism.

He even has his very own cape that velcros onto his dark blue pajamas. I made sure of that.

My little hero will never receive an award for his bravery, or have a street named in his honor. Heck, most people who see him won't recognize the stoic grace he carries around with him every where he goes. But I do. I am his mother. Forever and always, Jumby is my little man.

My heart and my husband's, and Fric and Frac's heart's as well, break every time we think about the trauma our Jumby has been forced to endure. As a mother, I find it hard not to spit fire and rage against the world, the people, who forced this path onto the boy who is now my son. I struggle to find the words to try and explain why such bad things happened whenever my older children ask me about it.

I can only tell them there is no such thing as fair in life.

My children have been forced to learn this lesson early on, with the sudden demise of their other brother. It saddens me that they can wisely nod their heads in acceptance. No child should have to learn that life has no boundaries, no fairness, and sometimes, sadly, no justice.

I can't undo the damage that was inflicted on my son when he wasn't my child. I can't erase his pain or his suffering. There isn't much I can do for this little boy other than to promise him a life filled with love, protection and safety for every breath his body holds now that he is a part of our family.

But this child, this boy who has seen hell and walked out the other side of it, riddled with scars from battles he never should have fought; he deserves more. Every child deserves more than what Fate has given him.

So when The Make A Wish Foundation offered to help Jumby's dreams come true, you can bet the hairs on my chin I didn't take more time than it takes to blink to agree.

Picture 3

It only seems fair after all, since Jumby made my dreams come true that I do what I can to help fulfill his.

On Friday, Jumby became an Official Wish Kid. Just like his big brother Shalebug did, years ago. Shalebug never got to use his wish; his time ran short before his dreams were able to come true.

But Jumby, my wee little hero-boy, will see his wish to fruition. It's a small wish, not something significant or very meaningful to most, but to my child, it will make all the world of difference to him and remind him that wishes can come true, goodness does exist.

In a world where bad things happen all around us, to people too young to understand why, for children who live through greater hardships than most adults ever have to endure, the Make A Wish Foundation is there to give back to children the one thing life has often yanked away from them.

Hope.

The Make A Wish team has given my child the chance to dream like every child should be able to.

I can't fix you Jumby, or erase the scars you bear on your body and soul. I can't make you whole, the way you were once, but I can promise to be by your side as you walk your path and always help you chase your dreams.

Thank you Make A Wish Foundation, for helping me be able to do that for my child.

**To everyone who has ever donated and supported the Children's Wish Foundation, I thank you as well. There are no words adequate enough to express what your kindness and charity provides to children like Jumby, to mothers like me. Thank you.**


Make-A-Wish


Click either image to be directed to make a donation to help another child's dream come true if you like.

Through the Looking Glass

I've taken some time off to do a lot of self reflecting this past week.

If you believed that, I have a money tree out back and some unicorns I'd like to sell you.

I spent most of my time shoving tissues up my nose, yelling at the dogs to stop eating the snotty used tissues and watching season one of Heroes.

Whenever the odd personal revelation would pop into my brain I'd chase it away with a steaming cup of NeoCitran. Nothing like over the counter cold medication to chase away the demons and let the sunshine in. Who needs therapy and antidepressants?*

*Just kidding Doc, if you are reading this.

One morning last week I reached for yet another tissue to staunch the flow of mucous seeping from my sinuses and stealing away my will to live only to discover the box was empty.

So with a Herculean effort, I pulled my jiggly arse cheeks off the couch, wiped my nose on my sleeve (puh-leez, like YOU have never done that) and moseyed into the bathroom in search of disposable paper products to shove up my nostrils.

As I tore apart my bathroom vanity, I realized several things.

1.) I have never finished a tube of sunscreen before opening another and therefore have at least a bakers dozen of half used sunscreen products shoved into several drawers.

2.) I seem to have developed quite the collection of toothbrushes, all in their original packaging. I could pretend I keep buying them for all the unexpected overnight guests we never have or I could just chalk it up to absentmindedness.

3.) There wasn't a damn box of tissues to be found all though I did discover an expired package of condoms, an opened jar of leg wax I forgot I had and a wig I bought on a lark days after Shalebug died.

4.) I not only collect shiny new tooth brushes, but I seem to be addicted to buying spectacles.

Sitting on my bathroom floor surrounded by an assortment of lube products, toothbrushes and lotion bottles, I wiped my nose (with a face cloth, not my sleeve. I'm not an animal dammit.) and counted how many pairs of glasses I have purchased in the last two years.

I started to calculate how much money I had tossed toward my myopic astigmatic eyeballs but my head started to swim when I realized if my husband ever decided to use a Chinese water torture treatment to extract definite figures of my spending habits I'd be better off pleading ignorance honestly than cracking under the pressure and admitting my monetary shame.

Some girls love makeup, others have a weakness for manicures and some enjoy owning a closet full of shoes.  Me? I have a thing for frames.

I blame my parents for this. If they hadn't saddled me with some real ego-busters back when I first started wearing glasses I may not be obsessed with buying all the pairs of cute glasses I happen to stumble on as an adult.

(There is not enough liquor or drugs to block out the memory of those clear plastic frames I wore until they shattered during a particularly cold winter's morning on the way to school or the giant, cover my entire face, over sized green frames I chose when I had a fever and mononucleosis.)

I wear contact lenses too, but I prefer glasses. I don't wear jewelery. I wear glasses.

I also played Dungeons and Dragons in high school and have a rudimentary understanding of the language of Klingon. Don't judge me.

Since I had to actually comb my hair for work purposes yesterday, I decided I'd show you what I've been spending my husband's money on in the last 24 months.

Consider this the first step to overcoming my addiction. Or just a really lame way out of avoiding my inner demons and escaping from posting any real content.

Whoot! Two birds with one stone!!

Feel free to make fun of me any time. You'll fit right in with my husband.

Photo 189

This is my "OHHH!" look. You'll see this on me whenever I cuss in front of Boo's 92 year old Christian nana or drop an F-bomb in front of my 3 year old nephew who repeats everything I say like the annoying parrot he is. I love these glasses.

Photo 123

This is my "I'm in your Internetz, reading your thoughtz" look. Or, as my husband would say, "Get your damn hair out of your eyes, Tanis," look. These are my newest specs. I bought them because they are bright blue on the inside and on the arms.

Photo 193

Ah, the sexy librarian look, or in this case, "I'm sweating so much my hair is actually dripping" look. It's hot. This pair of glasses were the pair that set off my spending spree. I blame Drew Carey.

Photo 184

This picture is how I look most days. Proof that I either have a severe facial tic that needs medical attention or I have absolutely no sense of shame and can openly mock myself. You decide. I stole these glasses off a homeless person hitch hiking down the highway. I'm such a badass that way.

Photo 186

Here I either bit my tongue, am sucking on a sour candy or am trying to imitate Betty Boop. I forget. Either way, I'm wearing my the glasses I seem to wear the most.

So ya. Six Five (one pair had a missing nose piece that felt like it was trying to gouge a third nostril whenever I put them on so no pics of those babies) pairs of glasses in two years.

Funny, I spend all day peering through the looking glass and yet I still feel like I'm falling down the rabbit hole most days.

Redneck Goodbyes

Stripper pants, cleavage and egg salad sandwiches.

Guess what those three things have in common.

If you guessed my uncle's funeral, congratulations, you win a prize. I have an old Scrabble board game missing a few letters I've been meaning to get rid of. I'll ship it your way.

Yesterday was my uncle V's funeral. Family congregated to say goodbye to the man who once grabbed my ridiculously good looking husband and welcomed him to his home by french kissing him.

It was and likely will remain one of my favourite family memories. My husband, of course, may have a different opinion. Nothing says "Welcome to the Miller clan pretty boy!" like the roving tongue of a drunken uncle who is looking to get a laugh.

And laugh we did. (Sorry it was at your expense Boo, but like they say, what ever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And more tolerant. And slightly more suspicious of all future in-laws who approach you gregariously intoxicated.)

Yesterday, my uncle's children, his siblings, his friends, his nieces and nephews and his entire community gathered in a small rural farming town to say good bye to the cowboy who always had a broad smile and a bear hug for me whenever he saw me.

Yesterday we laughed. A lot.

I think my uncle would have liked that.

I know he would have liked it a whole lot more if someone french kissed my husband just to see him blush, but sadly, my husband is on high alert for roving errant tongues now.

Yesterday, as the world said good bye to the man who was my uncle, I said hello to the people who I share blood with.

I was surrounded by the finest rednecks in all of Alberta. For once, I finally fit in. I was with my peoples.

It felt good.

But it would have felt a whole lot better if Uncle was there to slap my husband on the arse and call him Pretty Boy.