Pass the Puns, Please

Once again, I serve to you a Sunday morning ditty. And I warn you, dear internet, this one's a groaner...

A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.

"Are you sure?", the distraught woman asked. "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"

The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.

"Well, that confirms it." the vet announced. "Your dog is dead."

Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"

"That will be $330." the vet replied.

"I don't believe it!!!", screamed the woman. "What did you do that cost $330!?

"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

Pass the Puns, Please

Sunday morning again, and I have been making waffles for seven kiddies this morning. This little ditty seems appropriate. Enjoy!


A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

Pass the Puns, Please

Once again, it is Sunday morning. Here in the home of Redneck Mommy, that means bacon, eggs and of course, puns. Enjoy!

Three strings come across a bar and decide they'd like to stop in for a drink. The first string walks in, goes up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender looks at him and says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve strings here." Feeling dejected and a bit angry, the first string goes outside and tells the others what just happened.

When the second string hears the story, he decides he wants to give it a try. He goes in, walks straight up to the bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender looks right at him and says, "Hey, just like I told your buddy, we don't serve strings here." Denied his refreshment, the second string storms out of the bar with the same story to tell his friends.

By this time the third string is getting pretty thirsty and decides he isn't going to give up yet. After thinking for a little while, he messes up his hair a bit, gets himself all twisted up, and heads into the bar. As he approaches the bar and orders his drink, the bartender looks at him for a moment and then asks, "Say, aren't you a string?"

The third string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."