Pass the Puns, Please

Good morning dear internet. On the menu this morning is french toast, Brazilian coffee (beans actually grown and bought in Brazil!!) and a hefty dose of relaxation. So while I sip my freshly roasted brew, I offer you this ditty. Forewarned, this is a classic! Enjoy!

One day two carrots were walking down the street. They were the best of friends. Just as they started to step off the curb a car came speeding around the corner and ran one of them over.

The unhurt carrot called an ambulance and helped his friend as best he could. He was taken to emergecy at the hospital, and rushed away.

After many hours of agonized waiting, the doctor came out. He walked over to the distraught carrot and said "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."

"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!

Pass the Puns, Please

Happy Mother's Day to you, dear internet. Today is the day where my subjects (kids) bow down to treat me as the Queen I am. This usually involves pancakes, sausage and some craft made in school. But before I begin the revelry (translation: no one has woke up) I give you this ditty. In honor of momma's day, I dug up a real groaner. Enjoy!

These three guys are out fishing, and when they get back to their truck they see it's surrounded by three bears.

"OK guys, I figure the only way to get to the truck is to really get them mad. Then they'll leave and we can go home. So, Ed, you take the one on the left, the little cub with the broken leg, and I'll take the one in the middle, the little cub with one eye and a hurt paw, and Joe, you take the one on the right, the huge silvertip mama grizzly bear with blood-encrusted claws, the big teeth, and froth around the mouth".

"Hey, man wait a sec, I'm supposed to get this monster mad, and you guys get the cubs ? That's not fair!"

"Now, now, Joe. We all have our bears to cross."

Pass the Puns, Please

Good morning dear internet. It is time, once more, for me to pass along some cheese for you to enjoy with your breakfast. In honor of my four-year old niece's birthday, I have passed along the pun I told her this morning. Enjoy your Sunday groaners!


Why did Tigger get his head stuck in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
( I never said I told my niece a good one!)

For those of you with a more sophisticated palate, I present this one for you:

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."

Hee hee.