Pass the Puns, Please

I went and gave away the keys to the kingdom. I told my brother in-law and his wife about my blog. But I'm not overly worried about it. After all, this is the same brother in-law who taught me how to drive and his wife is the same lady who got very, very intoxicated with me, one blurry Christmas eve. We share a lot of history, and I have enough dirt on the two of them to make their lives very uncomfortable, if you know what I'm saying...

So to the Great White Hunter, and his wife, Martha Freakin' Stewart, welcome to my blog!

And to all of you out there, dear internet, on this cold winter day, have some cheese on me. It helps keep you warm on these cold Canadian days...


For many years a certain white whale and a tiny herring had been inseparable friends. Wherever the white whale roamed in search of food, the herring was sure to be swimming right along beside him.

One fine spring day the herring turned up off the coast of Norway without his companion. Naturally all the other fish were curious, and an octopus finally asked the herring what happened to his whale friend.

"How should I know?" the herring replied. "Am I my blubber's kipper?"


***My husband would like it on the record that he had nothing to do with this particular piece of cheese, and the pansy is thereby distancing himself from said joke and any particular wife who may have thought it funny....***

******EDIT: If you haven't weighed in on the debate whether men and women can be friends and nothing more, please give me an opinion. My BOO-YAH! dance depends on it...******

Pass the Puns, Please

One of the high points of my recent vacation was meeting a lady who loved puns as much as I do. We sat, drank some really nice wine and let the cheese flow. Soon other guests decided that we were having too much fun and they offered their favorite ditties, as well. It became a buffet of all different flavours; cheese of every variety. Even those who consider themselves connoisseurs of a good joke had a rolling good time. (However, that might have been due to the amounts of wine imbibed, and not due to the quality of the cheese...)

So it is with great flourish and trumpeting that I present to you, dear internet, this piece of cheese. It is rank with odour, leaves a strong after taste, but works really well with a nice Cabernet. Enjoy!


The zoo keeper in charge of the sea mammals was trying to train an otter to walk backwards. He was not having any success. He asked a coworker to see if she could do any better.

Lo and behold, a few days later, the otter was walking backwards.

Amazed, he asked his coworker, "How did you do that?"

"Simple," she said, "You put one foot in front of the otter."

Pass the Puns, Please

It's rodeo week around these parts and because I'm a community-minded type of gal, I am doing my part to contribute. I'm NOT wearing any shitkickers nor a ten gallon hat, but I will go to the local festivities, partake in some brewed beverages and listen to some big shiny tunes.

Because of my civic-minded ways, I have spent an unseemly amount of time in local watering holes. Which of course, leads me to the cheese I have to pass on to you.

So, without any further ado, enjoy le fromage!


A guy is sitting at a bar eating nuts in the bowl that are on the counter.

He looks down and he notices there is a nut talking to him. Leaning closer to hear what the nut is saying, he hears, "Hey you're one good looking guy!"

Then another nut said, "Yeah and I bet you're rich too!"

The man asks the bartender, "What's up with those nuts?"

The bartender just replies, "They are complimentary nuts."

******

Due to the fact that I am off to bond with my mother for a week of hell, and will be unable to post until Friday, I am offering a very special, two-for one offer today.

I dedicate this to the Piano Man. Without your very large television set, I never would have found this particular ditty. Which would be a shame, as it is too cheesy not to share with the world.



What do you call a pig who knows Karate?

A pork chop.