It's a Miracle and I'm a Whore
/No one thought he'd live, he was born too early at 24 weeks, it was unlikely he'd survive. But this little boy was a fighter. He knew that one day he'd find his way to his rightful true home and into the arms of a Redneck Mommy.
So with the help of a children's hospital affiliated with the Children's Miracle Network, some dedicated and very talented doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists and every other type of medical professional you can shake a stick at, they gathered around this wee peanut of a boy and did everything they could to help him live.
He spent almost a year in the hospital during his first year of life, and this boy overcame every health disaster that came his way.
Soon, the good people at the children's hospital were waving good bye to him and wishing him well as he set out to find his true redneck mommy.
It wasn't the last time Knox Jumby needed a children's hospital. Sadly, he will always be a frequent visitor of the children's hospital. Without the dedicated skills of these professionals, Knox Jumby won't make it to adulthood.
Which is why today is so important.
Today at participating Dairy Queens across North America (yes, Canada and the United States) it is MIRACLE DAY.
Today, proceeds from the purchase of a Blizzard at DQ will be donated to the Children's Miracle Network. To help children like Knox Jumby. To help any child.
You don't have children? Your children are healthy? Why should you care? Well, because you never know when a blood thirsty leprachaun will leap out of the forest and rip the toes off a child you know or love with a rusty cheese knife.
Seriously. It happens every day.
Just go mosey up to any ward of a children's hospital and you will see. It's not all kids with cancer, or heart problems or broken bones from car accidents. You'd be surprised how many children are struggling to recover from the savage attacks on their lives by fairy tale creatures gone mad.
So I'm whoring myself out here people, asking you all to take a few minutes, spend a few dollars and support this campaign to make every day a miracle for a child somewhere.
Without the services of my local children's hospital, I'd never have met my Knox Jumby. They have saved his life, more than once.
Without the services of my local children's hospital, my son Shale would have died.
(Well, okay,so technically he did die, but he would have died a whole lot sooner with out the Stollery Children's hospital, a proud affiliate of the Children's Miracle Network. And I swear, and the coroner agrees, the fine people at the hospital had nothing to do with his death.)So let's just ignore the fact that he died and focus on the fact they kept him alive for almost five years.
And that was no easy task yo. The kid was born with a gibbled brain and more health problems than a creative human can think of. I totally cooked him wrong when I was gestating him. If he had been born twenty years ago, I'd never have been able to bring him home.
But because of the fine people who work tirelessly at the Children's Miracle Network and the medical professionals at my local children's hospital, I got 4 years, 10 months and 17 days with my boy.
Not that I counted or anything.
Ahem.
Oh look! Pictures to guilt you into buying ice cream!
Look! I like to wear a bucket on my head! I really am a little redneck!
Peekaboo Puppy! I know! My head was just in a bucket and now it's NOT!
You can eat ice cream and feel like a good person.
It can be your good deed of the day.
Don't know where a participating Dairy Queen near you is? Simply click this link and find out! (I'm totally prepared in my whoring today. I should earn a girl scout badge or something.)
Can't eat ice cream because you are lactose intolerant or too damn lazy to get off the couch to walk to the DQ?
Have no fear! Tanis is here! You can donate online and still be part of the Miracle of MIRACLE day.
You Yanks can donate online here.
(Really, I may as well just show you my boobs at this point. Plus my knees are getting really sore from being on them for so long.)
This post is brought to you by the pandering of a mother who has two children who wouldn't have lived past birth without the support of people like you.
So go forth and donate. Be a Miracle to me.
Don't make me post pics of my dead kid to really beat you into guilty submission.
Cuz you know I will.
I am a whore. As proven by this post.
*I totally rock at this whoring out stuff. I mean, dead kids, fairy tale creatures and shameless exploitation of children. I freaking rock! Now go buy an ice cream because my blind deaf kid can't eat ice cream because he can't control his swallow and it will run into his lungs and effectively drown him which means ice cream could kill my child and therefore you should totally buy TWO blizzards just cuz it's so sad a five year old boy could be murdered by ice cream.*