Pass the Puns, Please
/It happened again. The hubs has left me for more lucrative prospects. Apparently, the lure of big money and the prospect of sharing a hotel room with a sweaty, smelly, overweight balding man was just more tempting than having lots of bendy sex quality time with me and bonding with his children.
I'm cool with it though. Let's get real. After a month of having the bed to myself, not tripping on his dirty socks or sitting in the damn toilet bowl because he thoughtfully left the seat up to make peeing easier for himself next time nature called, I was ready to see him off.
Sure I'll miss the back rubs, the words of whispered romance and the ability to have an evening to myself since the kids crawled over him like ants on a syrup bottle, but there is such a thing as too much.
And he'll be back soon. In ten days or so. Just enough time for me to start missing him again. As long as he gives me plenty of notice of his arrival, all will be well.
I wouldn't want him to know the truth about how we live while he's off busting his bottom. It takes time to pick up the empty pop bottles, chip bags and candy wrappers scattered everywhere. The layer of filth that accumulates in his absence doesn't miraculously clean itself you know.
A special thanks to my brother-in-law and his wife, a.k.a the Great White Hunter and Martha Freakin' Stewart, for opening their home to me and my small brood last night so we wouldn't wallow in our collective misery about Boo's departure. Thanks for the Chinese food Frac whined about eating (it was very good, but for some reason I was hungry an hour later), the hockey game (it was a treat to be able to see the Oil lose; generally I just listen on the radio), and for sharing your chitlens, One through Five. Even if One, Two and Three think it's cute to lick me, I still love them.
Now I'm off to hunt down some chocolate and spend some quality time with my children, whom I have ignored for the better part of a week. Enjoy le fromage while I dust off my parenting skills!
Paints were a very precious commodity in the good old days, and British merchants could make a small fortune supplying paints to the colonies.
One company sent a clipper ship full of red paint across the ocean. It had the very bad luck to collide with another ship full of blue paint.
As a result of this disaster, both crews were... marooned.
Hee hee.
I'm cool with it though. Let's get real. After a month of having the bed to myself, not tripping on his dirty socks or sitting in the damn toilet bowl because he thoughtfully left the seat up to make peeing easier for himself next time nature called, I was ready to see him off.
Sure I'll miss the back rubs, the words of whispered romance and the ability to have an evening to myself since the kids crawled over him like ants on a syrup bottle, but there is such a thing as too much.
And he'll be back soon. In ten days or so. Just enough time for me to start missing him again. As long as he gives me plenty of notice of his arrival, all will be well.
I wouldn't want him to know the truth about how we live while he's off busting his bottom. It takes time to pick up the empty pop bottles, chip bags and candy wrappers scattered everywhere. The layer of filth that accumulates in his absence doesn't miraculously clean itself you know.
A special thanks to my brother-in-law and his wife, a.k.a the Great White Hunter and Martha Freakin' Stewart, for opening their home to me and my small brood last night so we wouldn't wallow in our collective misery about Boo's departure. Thanks for the Chinese food Frac whined about eating (it was very good, but for some reason I was hungry an hour later), the hockey game (it was a treat to be able to see the Oil lose; generally I just listen on the radio), and for sharing your chitlens, One through Five. Even if One, Two and Three think it's cute to lick me, I still love them.
Now I'm off to hunt down some chocolate and spend some quality time with my children, whom I have ignored for the better part of a week. Enjoy le fromage while I dust off my parenting skills!
Paints were a very precious commodity in the good old days, and British merchants could make a small fortune supplying paints to the colonies.
One company sent a clipper ship full of red paint across the ocean. It had the very bad luck to collide with another ship full of blue paint.
As a result of this disaster, both crews were... marooned.
Hee hee.