Goofballs Unite

Somethings are too good not to share.

Like Jumbster's school photos which make me smile every time I see them.

He's a total goof ball. Just like me.

Happy Thanksgiving America.

Today I'm thankful for kleenex that can be stuffed up into my nostrils and sneezed out like little snot rockets to shoot at my dog.

I'm also thankful for pharmaceuticals, boxed mac and cheese and the fact my dogs are finally over their fear of snow and will pee outside.

It's the little things, I tell ya.

Enjoy your holiday and may there be plenty of pie for everyone.

For My Child

I am so sorry.

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you the childhood you deserve.

I am so sorry for each strip of innocence that has been torn away from you before you were ready.

I'm sorry for dead brothers. For battered babies. For grown up atrocities committed against you.

I'm so sorry I couldn't be a better dragon slayer for you.

I'm sorry for every tear you have cried, for every wound you have received, for each and every scar you now bear.

I'm sorry your father and I couldn't protect you from all that life has thrown at our family, and I'm sorry I won't be able to protect you from everything that looms in your far off distance future.

I am sorry for the flashing lights, the lawyers and the courtroom.

I'm so very sorry for every nightmare you've had because of this. For the fear you still carry deep in your heart.

For the pain you endured and likely will still endure for days to come.

I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from any of this.

But I am so proud of you, my child.

I'm proud of your resilience and your strength.

I'm proud of the way you stood up and said, "This was wrong."

I'm proud that you wanted the truth to ring loud and clear. I'm proud you stood up there, alone and vulnerable and withstood the battery of a trial in the hopes this would never happen to any one else.

I am in awe of your bravery. Your dignity. I don't know that if our places were reversed I'd have the strength to endure all that you have.

I'm in awe of your dogged perseverance of joy.

I'm in awe that even in your most vulnerable moments you clung to your truth and held fast like a beacon of light in a storm.

You have a grace about you that you likely don't see just yet, but I hope one day you will.

You shine in a way I never will, never could. I'm amazed that you're mine.

I love you so much, and so much more with each day that passes.

I am so, so proud to be your mother.

And yet.

Still.

I am so very, very sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

Rambling Roundup

You know that feeling when your stressed and it seems like life just keeps piling up more crap to get stressed about and you want to just roll over and play dead with a blanket over your head until life finally forgets you exist?

I'm totally playing possum right now.

Under my roof I currently have a quadriplegic child with a raging skin infection. His cheek looks like it's about to fall off. I have a husband who has a broken ankle and is hobbling around like a geriatric one legged bum. And then there is Frac who's abdomen is being held together with tape. Tape! Not stitches. Not glue. Just little steri-strips that are threatening to fall off so that the wound reopens and his innards fall out.

Add to that and I can't stand up straight because of my crippled back and we have one healthy member of the family. And she's currently trying to kill herself by taking volleyball shots to the head.

And my dog needs knee surgery.

Life is awesome.

I should tell you, before you invest any more time reading this post, that I have absolutely no point in mind as I type this. I'm rambling.

That's Fric. Dressed up for Halloween, as get this: Me. She's wearing my grade nine grad dress and styled her hair and makeup after some of of my junior high pictures.

I'm still laughing.

Also, I guess hanging onto that dress (that my mother made for me) all these years finally served a purpose.

Ah, to be 14 with a corsage once more...

It's sad when you realize your 15 year old daughter makes for a better version of your 14 year old self than you ever did.

In other news, I've joined iVillage Canada and their team so that I may spread my inane ramblings even further. My first post is live and I'd love if you would go check it out so that the powers that be that hired me actually think there was some merit to bringing me aboard. Click here to learn whatI have in common with a rat farmer in Alabama.

Over on Babble Voices I've been busy with my blog Hogwash From a Hoser. I wrote a post about teenaged hoodlums. I know all about teen hoodlums because I was once a hoodlum myself. Not that I'd admit that in a court of law or to my children's faces. Ahem.

I also wrote about my hatred of Halloween and how this one particular holiday keeps kicking me in the arse. Between dead kids, exploding appendixes and people who refuse to give disabled kids in costumes any candy when they are trick or treating I'm giving Halloween the bird. And not the nice type of bird if you know what I mean.

Now, if y'all excuse me, I plan on spending the rest of the day surfing the net, laughing at Lindsay Lohan and eating enough ice cream that I'll eventually grow udders and moo.

In other words, I've got work to do.

What my daughter's future looks like. Poor thing.