The Sweet Tweets of Life
/Growing up in the city, my parents allowed us to have a whole menagerie of pets to love. We had dogs (a lovely pair of basset hounds named Yardley and Bentley), cats (how I miss my Olly cat), fish (my goldfish lived for four years until my lovely dumbass brother fed him cornflakes), gerbils and a guinea pig named Beaver, a passel of rabbits and of course, birds. We had all of these animals at one time.
(I never realized how patient my mom really was until I just typed out the previous sentence. I would have lost my mind.)
Recently, I was sitting in my living room, listening to the soft snuffles of Nixon, the World's Greatest Dog, Ever. softly snoring and I was struck with how quiet my house, and my life was. It never used to be this quiet. It was filled with the noise my youngest son would make when Fric and Frac were off at school.
The silence was deafening and it began to hurt my heart. I need noise to thrive. Must be my city roots where the whine of the sirens were like birds in the night.
So I got to thinking. What could I do to fill the noise? Sure, we're trying to adopt a child, and hopefully he or she will be a noisy little bugger, but what if they aren't? What then? What could I do to ensure my sanity? (What could I do to annoy my husband the most....?)
With the twittering of the birds in the background, it struck me. I'll get a bird. I love birds. My grandparents gave me my first bird when I was ten. Not only will it fill my silent space, but it will teach my children another aspect of responsibility.
After researching every variety of bird available to man, I set off to find me a bird.
I came home with the sweetest pair of lovebirds a person ever did see. Keeping with the political theme I have going, I named one Abe (after Lincoln) and the other Lester (after Lester B. Pearson. He was a Prime Minister of Canada who won the Nobel Peace prize.)
Abe and Lester love me. Theyscreech twitter whenever I walk towards their cage. And when I feed them, they flap around as if I'm a giant snake coming to swallow them perform acrobatics to impress me. Really, what more could I ask for?
And when they start chirping and screeching at 6 in the morning, I know it's because they miss me so. I don't care what my husband thinks, I know it's not because they are freaking bird brains who don't have the good sense to keep their beaks shut until a decent hour of the day.
My husband is suitably annoyed. And so is my dog, which I didn't take into consideration. Apparently, he is mighty threatened by the presence of two little birdies in his home.
But I got my wish. My house is now filled with noise. The chatting screams of Abe and Lester echo through the halls. Generally followed with my dog barking his face off at them, my children whining about how noisy they are, and my husband standing in front of their cage bitching at them about how he has a B.B.gun and a pellet with their name on it.
It doesn't get any noisier than this. (Yet another lesson to learn to be careful what you wish for...)
To celebrate my life filled with racket and din, I present to you this pun. It's a cartoon that Iswiped borrowed just for you. Enjoy!
(I never realized how patient my mom really was until I just typed out the previous sentence. I would have lost my mind.)
Recently, I was sitting in my living room, listening to the soft snuffles of Nixon, the World's Greatest Dog, Ever. softly snoring and I was struck with how quiet my house, and my life was. It never used to be this quiet. It was filled with the noise my youngest son would make when Fric and Frac were off at school.
The silence was deafening and it began to hurt my heart. I need noise to thrive. Must be my city roots where the whine of the sirens were like birds in the night.
So I got to thinking. What could I do to fill the noise? Sure, we're trying to adopt a child, and hopefully he or she will be a noisy little bugger, but what if they aren't? What then? What could I do to ensure my sanity? (What could I do to annoy my husband the most....?)
With the twittering of the birds in the background, it struck me. I'll get a bird. I love birds. My grandparents gave me my first bird when I was ten. Not only will it fill my silent space, but it will teach my children another aspect of responsibility.
After researching every variety of bird available to man, I set off to find me a bird.
I came home with the sweetest pair of lovebirds a person ever did see. Keeping with the political theme I have going, I named one Abe (after Lincoln) and the other Lester (after Lester B. Pearson. He was a Prime Minister of Canada who won the Nobel Peace prize.)
Abe and Lester love me. They
And when they start chirping and screeching at 6 in the morning, I know it's because they miss me so. I don't care what my husband thinks, I know it's not because they are freaking bird brains who don't have the good sense to keep their beaks shut until a decent hour of the day.
My husband is suitably annoyed. And so is my dog, which I didn't take into consideration. Apparently, he is mighty threatened by the presence of two little birdies in his home.
But I got my wish. My house is now filled with noise. The chatting screams of Abe and Lester echo through the halls. Generally followed with my dog barking his face off at them, my children whining about how noisy they are, and my husband standing in front of their cage bitching at them about how he has a B.B.gun and a pellet with their name on it.
It doesn't get any noisier than this. (Yet another lesson to learn to be careful what you wish for...)
To celebrate my life filled with racket and din, I present to you this pun. It's a cartoon that I