Ass Kissing at it's Finest
/As the mother to two preteens, I make very sure to guard my children's fragile self-esteem. I want them to be able to worry about boys and girls and grades and life in general, with out having to worry if they look fat or ugly or odd. (As we all know, the gawkiness of a growth spurt will soon transform them into hideous gangly creatures, complete with the odd pimple and cracking voice, but why let them in on that secret...)
It's my job as their mother to foster a love for themselves and nurture a high self esteem (without turning them into vain ego-maniacs.) I find it's rather easy. They just rob from my self-esteem and transfer it to themselves.
(Mom, are your boobs supposed to be hangy like that?)
(Mom, old people can't run in track and field. It would hurt them. I brought you a chair.)
(Mom, you're really old. 31 is old. You're not near as young as Joan's mom. She's 25.) Yah. Not every mom is lucky to have a kid at 14. Cut me some slack. I did the best I could by popping you guys out at 20 and 21. Sheesh.
Since my fragile ego has been shredded through a cheese grater since my darling children learned to talk, I have had to look for other sources of redemption. My husband, my friends, and my inner dialogue after a bottle of red.
Seeing as how my husband is legally obligated to kiss my ass, it doesn't quite cut the mustard. Especially when he's really nice right before crawling into bed and looking for a little marital mattress dancing. It would mean a whole lot more if he told me how beautiful I was first thing in the morning, when I have makeup half way down my face, pillow creases on my cheek, drool on my chin and breath so foul my dog runs for cover. Then I would know he means it.
But every now and then someone new and exciting comes along and serves you with a genuine compliment, which fuels your smile for the rest of the day. Today is one of those days.
I have some ass kissing to do today, and I am thrilled to pucker up. I'd like to thank the following people for bestowing upon me a Perfect Post Award.
Matthew over at Childs Play x2
Mrs. Chicken at Chicken and Cheese and,
Canape over at Don't Take the Repeats
All three of these fine bloggers have nominated this post for a Perfect Post Award. (Without any bribes from me!)
It especially means so much since none of them are climbing into my bed looking to get laid.
So thank you bloggers for thinking of me and remembering my Bug. There are no words for that. Just big sloppy kisses and a big hug. (I'd even keep my hands to myself and try not to squeeze any asses.)
If you haven't read any of these fine writers, then you are missing out. I'd highly urge you to take a gander at their work. It's well worth the mouse click.
If you'd like to find out more about the Perfect Post Awards, go take a peek over here or here. A big bloggy squeeze to Lindsay and MommaK for hosting these awards every month.
As if all of this bloggy love wasn't enough, the lovely, super-cool, and extremely hairy, Mrs. Chicky has bestowed upon me yet another honour. Sure, she only did it because we are going to be room mates in a few weeks and she doesn't want me to steal her shampoo or take pictures of her while she snores and drools, but still, my ego is fragile and I'll take any pat on the back I can get. Especially from a dirty girl like her.
This is one of those chain letter award dealeo's, but hey, I'm all about sharing the love. So let me bring out my Award Stick (much like the Queen's knighting sword, except I usually roast weiners on my stick and the occasional marshmallow) and pass along the love.
I grant thee, Bon, MamaMichelsBabies, and Wendy Rocking Girl status. Go forth, steal my button and spread the love. Bestow it upon some bloggy chicks who need some love.
And now, the ass kissing session of today is over. My lips are getting chapped, and my ego dangerously large.
It's good to be me.
It's my job as their mother to foster a love for themselves and nurture a high self esteem (without turning them into vain ego-maniacs.) I find it's rather easy. They just rob from my self-esteem and transfer it to themselves.
(Mom, are your boobs supposed to be hangy like that?)
(Mom, old people can't run in track and field. It would hurt them. I brought you a chair.)
(Mom, you're really old. 31 is old. You're not near as young as Joan's mom. She's 25.) Yah. Not every mom is lucky to have a kid at 14. Cut me some slack. I did the best I could by popping you guys out at 20 and 21. Sheesh.
Since my fragile ego has been shredded through a cheese grater since my darling children learned to talk, I have had to look for other sources of redemption. My husband, my friends, and my inner dialogue after a bottle of red.
Seeing as how my husband is legally obligated to kiss my ass, it doesn't quite cut the mustard. Especially when he's really nice right before crawling into bed and looking for a little marital mattress dancing. It would mean a whole lot more if he told me how beautiful I was first thing in the morning, when I have makeup half way down my face, pillow creases on my cheek, drool on my chin and breath so foul my dog runs for cover. Then I would know he means it.
But every now and then someone new and exciting comes along and serves you with a genuine compliment, which fuels your smile for the rest of the day. Today is one of those days.
I have some ass kissing to do today, and I am thrilled to pucker up. I'd like to thank the following people for bestowing upon me a Perfect Post Award.
Matthew over at Childs Play x2
Mrs. Chicken at Chicken and Cheese and,
Canape over at Don't Take the Repeats
All three of these fine bloggers have nominated this post for a Perfect Post Award. (Without any bribes from me!)
It especially means so much since none of them are climbing into my bed looking to get laid.
So thank you bloggers for thinking of me and remembering my Bug. There are no words for that. Just big sloppy kisses and a big hug. (I'd even keep my hands to myself and try not to squeeze any asses.)
If you haven't read any of these fine writers, then you are missing out. I'd highly urge you to take a gander at their work. It's well worth the mouse click.
If you'd like to find out more about the Perfect Post Awards, go take a peek over here or here. A big bloggy squeeze to Lindsay and MommaK for hosting these awards every month.
As if all of this bloggy love wasn't enough, the lovely, super-cool, and extremely hairy, Mrs. Chicky has bestowed upon me yet another honour. Sure, she only did it because we are going to be room mates in a few weeks and she doesn't want me to steal her shampoo or take pictures of her while she snores and drools, but still, my ego is fragile and I'll take any pat on the back I can get. Especially from a dirty girl like her.
This is one of those chain letter award dealeo's, but hey, I'm all about sharing the love. So let me bring out my Award Stick (much like the Queen's knighting sword, except I usually roast weiners on my stick and the occasional marshmallow) and pass along the love.
I grant thee, Bon, MamaMichelsBabies, and Wendy Rocking Girl status. Go forth, steal my button and spread the love. Bestow it upon some bloggy chicks who need some love.
And now, the ass kissing session of today is over. My lips are getting chapped, and my ego dangerously large.
It's good to be me.