Brain Freeze
/"Mom, can I ask you a question?"
She looked so serious. So concerned. I braced myself for everything from the birth control talk to the drug talk to the 'no, I don't know why you look like the milkman' talk.
"Well, I was talking to Dad the other day..."
(Thanks Boo, I thought to myself.)
"..and he was explaining why I had a lobotomy when I was three and I was just wondering if you could show me the scrap book he said you made of the experience."
Inside my head I was screaming WTF Boo? STOP TALKING TO OUR CHILDREN. Outside of my head I gently coughed and said, "Come again?"
"You know, my lobotomy. The one I had before you pinned back my ear."
Right. THAT lobotomy. How could I forget? Eye roll.
"Um, did your dad tell you why you had this lobotomy?"
"No. I don't even really know what it is. I guess I should Google it."
Have I ever mentioned how pretty my kid is? And how very blonde her hair is? Or how my husband likes to play practical jokes on his poor naive children?
"Ya, I'd recommend you Google that. Just make sure your father is around when you do. I'm sure he'll have some explaining to do."
"Good idea. Thanks Mom."
"Ya. Sure. Anything for you kid." It was all I could do to keep from busting out in laughter.
"Mom?"
"Ya?"
"I wonder if I have a big scar. Dad thinks I should totally shave my head to see it. What do you think?"
I think my husband and I are going to have a conversation when he gets home.
"I think you are a very sweet kid. Hey, do you remember that time when I had you convinced your middle name was Frederick?"
"Yes! For like two years you had me telling everyone my middle name was Fred! I told half the kids in my kindergarten class that and they still tease me about it."
"Ya. That was awesome."
I still giggle at the memory of it.
It's good to know when I drop the practical joke ball my husband is there, years later to pick it back up. I can only imagine how expensive her therapy bill will be for this.
*Just remember kid, we love you.*
She looked so serious. So concerned. I braced myself for everything from the birth control talk to the drug talk to the 'no, I don't know why you look like the milkman' talk.
"Well, I was talking to Dad the other day..."
(Thanks Boo, I thought to myself.)
"..and he was explaining why I had a lobotomy when I was three and I was just wondering if you could show me the scrap book he said you made of the experience."
Inside my head I was screaming WTF Boo? STOP TALKING TO OUR CHILDREN. Outside of my head I gently coughed and said, "Come again?"
"You know, my lobotomy. The one I had before you pinned back my ear."
Right. THAT lobotomy. How could I forget? Eye roll.
"Um, did your dad tell you why you had this lobotomy?"
"No. I don't even really know what it is. I guess I should Google it."
Have I ever mentioned how pretty my kid is? And how very blonde her hair is? Or how my husband likes to play practical jokes on his poor naive children?
"Ya, I'd recommend you Google that. Just make sure your father is around when you do. I'm sure he'll have some explaining to do."
"Good idea. Thanks Mom."
"Ya. Sure. Anything for you kid." It was all I could do to keep from busting out in laughter.
"Mom?"
"Ya?"
"I wonder if I have a big scar. Dad thinks I should totally shave my head to see it. What do you think?"
I think my husband and I are going to have a conversation when he gets home.
"I think you are a very sweet kid. Hey, do you remember that time when I had you convinced your middle name was Frederick?"
"Yes! For like two years you had me telling everyone my middle name was Fred! I told half the kids in my kindergarten class that and they still tease me about it."
"Ya. That was awesome."
I still giggle at the memory of it.
It's good to know when I drop the practical joke ball my husband is there, years later to pick it back up. I can only imagine how expensive her therapy bill will be for this.
*Just remember kid, we love you.*